


Average Rival Things

by vibe_check



Category: Lupin III
Genre: (except it's technically lupin realizing someone else's feelings i guess?), Dialogue Heavy, Feelings Realization, M/M, UPDATE: we're not implying it anymore. Oops!!, and let's be honest when does he not, implied loopzoop but enough to warrant proper tagging, lupin makes suggestive jokes but we never cross the pg-13 threshold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21881524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vibe_check/pseuds/vibe_check
Summary: Look, just because Lupin isn't the detective out of the two of them doesn't mean he can't pick up on the signs.
Relationships: Arsène Lupin III/Zenigata Kouichi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 164





	1. The Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> Most of the fics between these two that I've read take place from Zeni's POV, so I thought I'd be the change I wished to see in the world and make something of my own. This is that thing!

It was hot. That was the only real thing that stuck with Lupin, the blistering heat, even though the sun had set. And heat doesn’t mix well with steel. He pressed the cuffs against his legs, hoping that they would be lifted off his wrists enough to get some relief from the uncomfortable temperature.

“Doesn’t your AC work Pops? Or did it get busted the last time you thought Goemon couldn't ACTUALLY cut a car in half.”

Zenigata turned away from the road and glared at Lupin. In response, he merely smiled wider.

“That was one time,” Zenigata grumbled.

“Yeah, but it was after you saw him slice open a helicopter, man. And a plane. And like thirty uncuttable metals--”

“I’m tired of this conversation.”

“What would YOU like to talk about then, hmm?”

“You being locked up for at least 50, for starters.” Zenigata started to grin again.

“Minutes?”

“YOU WISH!” Zenigata turned to face Lupin with so much force he almost swerved off the road.

Lupin batted his eyelashes and leaned as close to Zenigata as the car would allow. “Anyone ever tell you you have the meanest smile?”

Zenigata pushed him away with an eye roll.

“Anyone ever tell you your arms are strong?”

“Lupin.”

“I bet no one has told you th--”

“LUPIN!”

Lupin erupted into laughter. “Too much?”

“You were laying it on so thick, you could cut it with a knife.” Zenigata gave a crooked smile at the stoplight in front of them.

It was half jokes, at least on Lupin’s part. There’s only so many jokes you can make about a guy’s attractive features before you start paying too much attention. He’d be lying if he said Zenigata wasn't at least a bit endearing to him, and it’d be an even bigger lie if he said he didn’t consider certain things time to time. No one wanted Lupin to be a better person than him. Maybe that was why he’d been getting soft…?

“You have any compliments for me?”

“You’d look great in stripes.”

“Ouch! That stings, Pops! Be sincere.”

“Like a thief would know anything about sincerity!”

“I mean everything I say!” Kind of a lie, but Zenigata knew that already. He knew it so well, in fact, he didn’t reply. Lupin took the silence as an invitation to continue teasing him. “I know you care about me somewhat.”

Zenigata’s jaw tightened.

“See! Instant reaction.”

“It’s different in those circumstances.”

“You’re so willing to help when I’m on the right side of the law, you’ve cried at least four of the times I’ve died, and I suspect you’ve started working out to keep up with me!”

“WOR--!!” Zenigata sputtered. “First off, NO. Second, that’s basic human decency.”

“I’m a thief, I don’t get that from cops often,” Lupin shrugged with the same grin. “Besides that, I think you’ve professed your love for me multiple times.”

“YOU THINK, but you’d be WRONG.”

Lupin raised an eyebrow. “You want me to start firing off quotes?”

Zenigata looked Lupin dead in the eyes for the first time since they’d started the drive to the big house. He didn’t say a word, but he glowered at Lupin like he had stolen something from him personally this time.

Lupin refused to read the room. “It’s not just me that’s notic--”

“Lupin,” Zenigata spoke through gritted teeth. “What I want right now is for you to act like the trained monkey you are, and. Shut. Up.”

“You’re gonna have to try harder than that if you really want me to be quiet.”

They drove. They drove some more. Lupin thought he’d seen that quirky black cat mailbox more than once.

“Are you lost?”

“NO!!” Zenigata shouted. He hunched his shoulders and glared at nothing in particular.

“Oh my God, we are. We’re lost. You’ve been driving so long I’m sure you don’t even know what country we’re in now.”

“Shut up! I’ll just make a u-turn and drive until we’re in familiar surroundings.” He paused. “More familiar than here.”

“Mhmm,” Lupin said flatly. Zenigata turned around to get a better look through the back window briefly, and Lupin squinted at his chin. “Hey hey, you forgot to shave this morning. Unless you’re going for the grizzled detective look now,” Lupin continued. “It would take some getting used to but--”

Zenigata returned to his previous position and glared down the road once more. “I’m going to gag you, I swear.”

Lupin giggled, barely fighting a joke that Zenigata must’ve caught onto, because he groaned in annoyance before speaking again.

“The fish aren’t biting as much as they used to lately, are they?” Zenigata’s smile was drenched in malice.

“Hey, hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Lupin raised his tone as he leaned towards Zenigata.

“Nothing… Just that it seems like nobody’s exactly breaking down your door anymore,” Zenigata faced Lupin just long enough to really see Lupin’s offended expression. “Are they?”

Lupin’s hair bristled. He got closer and started to retort back, only to be cut off.

“Or, were they ever? ”

“At least I have a shot at getting dates to begin with,” Lupin fired back.

The air was heavy for a minute. Lupin and Zenigata traded… well, what Lupin described earlier as plain mean smiles. Lupin decided not to focus too much on how close they were (after all, this wasn’t a rare occurrence, it was nothing special), but he did pick up on Zenigata's breath.

“You drink too much coffee.”

It was only when Zenigata pulled off the road so quickly Lupin felt himself lift from his seat that he realized the car had been completely still for a good minute. He pulled it into park so forcefully Lupin half-expected the gearshift to snap. The second his eyes glanced up again, he found a finger in his face.

“You’re even more annoying than usual today. Are you playing a game of I spy with my face or what?”

Lupin’s mouth skewed. “Crabby today too. You need to take a vacation, Pops.”

Zenigata immediately grabbed Lupin by the shoulders and grit his teeth. “HOW COULD I WITH YOU RUNNING AROUND?!”

“I take you all over the globe and this is the thanks I get? I see how it is.” Lupin tried his best to cross his arms despite the cuffs. He pouted for a moment, before that faded into another smirk. Zenigata looked ready to punch him.

“How would you like it if I stole shit constantly, and YOU had to follow me around?!”

Lupin gasped. “A business proposal?”

Zenigata reached lower and grabbed the chain between the handcuffs, pulling Lupin in by it. “You’re awfully cocky for someone who’s losing.”

Lupin made a sound of acknowledgement, still embittered from Zenigata’s earlier insults. Didn’t he know that wasn’t how the game was played?! “Yeah? Well guess what Pops, there’s an empty cabin in the back of this car and YOU were the one who decided to shove me in the front seat instead! You--” Lupin froze. What was that? No, it couldn’t be. Here? Now? Lupin’s scowl slowly melted into a shit-eating grin.

“You’re… You’re blushing.” he murmured.

Finally, one of Lupin’s remarks seemed to stay with him. Zenigata quickly dropped the chain, as if it was about to turn into a snake, and his eyes widened. “I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT.”

“YOU ARE!” Lupin yelled in delight.”Ohhh I knew it! We just needed a chance to get closer, maybe not this literally, but you’ve liked me since the beginning haven’t you?”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU IMPLYING!!”

“It all makes sense, Pops! Your never-ending dedication, you’ve risked your life for me tons of times, and you always insist on being the one watching me when I’m in danger. What a pure form of love!” Lupin brought his hands together and sighed wistfully at the roof of the car. “Course, you could’ve taken me out to dinner first.”

A volcano paled in comparison to Zenigata right now. “YOU--”

Lupin put a finger up to Zenigata’s mouth. “No words, my heart couldn’t take it.”

“THIS ISN'T SOME STUPID CRUSH! IT’S ANGER!”

“I always thought you experienced those emotions at the same time.”

Zenigata grabbed the chain of the handcuffs again. “I don’t HAVE to take you in alive!”

“You’ll already be dropping me off with a broken heart!”

He let out a bitter laugh that trailed off oddly. He started to reach for the gearshift, but stopped when he looked out the window. Lupin watched as the gears in Zenigata’s head turned, and suddenly, he was opening his car door to get out.

“This’ll work,” he mumbled. He turned to Lupin, opening his door, and spoke louder. “C’mere, we’re staying here.”

Lupin felt like he was going to burst into laughter. “What.”

“Don’t give me that look! It’s too dark to see the road in this crappy town, so we’re getting a room. Tomorrow I’ll take you to a real jail.”

“A room? Singular?” Lupin slid out of the car.

Zenigata laughed and shut the door behind him fiercely. “If you think I’d trust you not to escape for a whole night--”

Lupin got the picture. “Funny you mention this after my fresh discovery.”

“Alright smartass, then you drive.”

“Drive myself to prison?! Pops, you said you knew me well!”

“If that’s how you want it,” Zenigata said, walking to the hotel door. “Then thieves first.”

“You know how suspicious this’ll look, what with me still wearing this fine jewelry.” Lupin held out his wrists for emphasis. “Wouldn’t want the concierge getting the wrong idea!”

Zenigata laughed loudly. Lupin wondered if he could do anything quietly. “Right, and while I escape the implications of that, you’ll call Jigen over and escape more jailtime?” His smile wiped off his face as quickly as it appeared. “Come on,” he growled.

“Touchy.”

Lupin entered the building. It was… a hotel. Nothing special or snazzy, but it had a nice enough lobby to sit in. He plopped on the nearest sofa, and gestured for Zenigata to go up to the desk. As Zenigata described the situation at an unbearable speed, Lupin thought about what was coming up. He’d never played Cops and Robbers: Sleepover Edition, except for once when he snuck-- Wait, sleepover. Aw, damn, no toothbrush? Maybe Zenigata had an extra, he was always ridiculously prepared. He glanced at the tall man who was no doubt confusing the poor employee. Crazy prepared for Lupin. Maybe not for hygiene. He snickered to himself, and instinctively leaned back to whisper the same joke to Jigen, Fujiko, Goemon… and remembered they weren’t there. His shoulders drooped. Bummer.

“C’mon Lupin,” Zenigata called as he walked over, carrying a fresh set of keys. “The elevator’s that way.”

“Thanks for the help, Mr. GPS. I have a question.”

Zenigata pressed the button, half processing the conversation. “Shoot.”

“Did you pack for two?”

The elevator dinged, but Zenigata didn’t move. His face skewed up and he pushed his hat up to scratch his head. “Uh… well…”

“Damn! I knew it. You’re making the legendary Lupin the Third go to bed without brushing his teeth? You don’t even have pajamas for me, not that I could change with THESE things!!”

Zenigata stepped in the elevator, but Lupin was still rambling on. “Honestly, you’re the worst vacation planner the world over.”

“Lupin.” 

“I’d rather let Goemon plan a whole heist on his own--”

“Lupin!”

“-- writing down ‘cut thing’ over and over again, than to let you plan--”

“LUPIN!” He grabbed the front of Lupin’s suit and pulled him in the elevator. “Pay attention! This is the second time you've started rambling!”

“What? I always pay attention, I could say the same to you,” Lupin grumbled.

“Then how come you didn’t get in the elevator before the doors started to close, idiot.”

Lupin made a face. “I was waiting for the one that wasn’t rigged with a bomb.”

Zenigata actually laughed again, but it was a much stranger laugh to hear come from him. It wasn’t a mean one, or a frantic, almost crazed one, it was just a simple… giggle? Lupin laughed back, in the same quiet way.

“Did you get a good one?”

“How much do you think they’re paying me? It’s got the basics. And speaking of the basics, I do have an extra tolietry set--”

“Damn, you really did come prepared.”

“But no extra pajamas.”

“That’s fine, I don’t mind mind sleeping in what’s under this suit.”

Zenigata’s annoyed expression didn’t falter, but he went pale. “What’s... Under, that suit.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

The doors opened, showing the two a new setting. “I’ve seen enough of that to last me a lifetime, thank you.”

“We could start stocking you up for enough to last your afterlife too,” Lupin laughed, walking out of the elevator into the carpeted hallway. “Hey Pops, you ever feel guilty wearing dirty shoes on a nice carpet like this?”

They traversed down the hallway, Lupin never staying quiet for more than 15 seconds. Zenigata counted. “Did you forget your ADHD meds today, Lupin?”

“Wow, no wonder you’re the best detective, you got me. Going up for a comedian position next?”

Zenigata grinned down at the key he was sliding into the locked door. “And take your job from you?”

“Some job that is, I’m not getting paid nearly enough.”

Zenigata was right, the room really was bare basics. This was barely hideout material. The shower and toilet were disconnected from the rest of the room, but not the sink. One large mirror, one tiny faucet, and two guys who were no doubt going to be pushing and shoving over it. Right beside the sink lie a table, and a little ways further pressed against the same wall was a wide dresser with a TV on top. On the opposite side, accompanied by a nightstand was the bed. The bed, singular. Lupin immediately reacted.

“YOU HAD TO’VE ASKED!” he shouted in delight, immediately falling back on it to laugh himself silly.

Zenigata’s shoulders stiffened up so much, they probably touched his ears. “I DID NOT,” he roared. “IT WAS THE ONLY ONE LEFT.”

“In this shabby hotel?! You’re making excuses! Oh, what a cliche, I expected so much better of you than this.”

“Yeah? Well if you’re gonna be so snobby...” Zenigata stormed towards a very small couch, closer to the wall than the bed was, on the other side of the dresser. At least it was directly in front of the TV. “Then you can sleep here.”

“Hmph, have it your way. Denying planning and everything, how immature! How childish!”

Lupin retreated to the couch and flipped on the TV. “You’ll be lucky if something good is on,” he added a little bit too late.

“Pout and whine all you want, it only makes this all the better.” Zenigata puffed out his chest, and reached into a suitcase Lupin hadn’t seen him take in. Damn, where was his mind today? “I normally only pack a few extra shirts, but I’m giving you one to change into.” He held out a very plain looking green dress shirt, but quickly retracted it to add, “to borrow . For one night .”

“Alright, alright, yeesh! I wouldn’t want to take a boring shirt like this anyways. Are you changing first?”

“Oh, well…” Zenigata put a hand on the back of his neck. “Normally I just kind of… stick with this. Saves time changing in the morning.”

Lupin wrinkled his nose, but couldn’t help laughing again. “So you don’t even pack pajamas?”

“I DO! I just don’t normally get time to change!”

“But you have time tonight!” Zenigata looked to the side. As much as he’d never admit it on any level, Lupin had a point. He began walking to the closed off room. Lupin leaned back into the chair, and started to rest his hands behind his head only for them to get caught. He made an annoyed noise through his teeth. “Pops, the door is locked now, could you…?”

Zenigata had already began to slide off his coat, but stopped. He tensed almost as soon as Lupin spoke, and for once, Lupin didn’t mean to rile him up. “What?” he asked.

Zenigata turned, the half of his coat that was on obscuring the lower half of his face. All Lupin could make out were vicious eyebrows and wide eyes. “Was it-- AH!” Lupin finally caught it, and smiled. “You thought I meant--”

“WHAT DID YOU WANT?! SPECIFY!!”

Lupin put his hands on his forehead as he laughed, before presenting them in front of Zenigata. “S’il vous plait, inspecteur?”

He turned away again and moved out of the other sleeve, leaving the coat on the table. “Shut up, no.”

“But I can’t change if I have these awful things on! C’mon, please?”

Zenigata glared, but reached into his jacket pocket. Lupin always thought the keys were in his trenchcoat, no wonder he could never find ‘em in there. Not that it mattered, because he could’ve just picked the lock anyways if he had enough time. In fact, if Zenigata went to change, he COULD do it now… but where would the fun be in that? He was agreeing awfully quickly anyways.

He tried to shrug off his jacket with one arm, but it wasn’t quite working as well as it had with the coat. Lupin snickered. “Take your time.”

“Fine, I won’t unlock it then!” Zenigata threw his now discarded jacket onto the ground fiercely.

“Don’t forget the tie, I paid for a full show,” Lupin giggled.

Zenigata went red from the neck up. “Then you can stand to get it unlocked yourself.”

“No, no, I want you to do it! I’ll shut up, honest. Cross my heart, Pops!”

Zenigata eyed him suspiciously. He looked at the lock on the door one last time, then approached him and got down. Lupin’s hands hadn’t left their outward position once during the argument. Zenigata casually grabbed a wrist and twisted the key into place with a sharp, tiny click. One down, and then the next. Lupin sighed in relief and rubbed his sore wrists. “About time,” he breathed. He stood up before Zenigata and smiled down at him. “ Now stand aside, I have to break this window to get out.”

“HEY, WAIT!” Zenigata reached for the bottom of Lupin’s jacket and pulled, bringing Lupin down to the floor with him. Despite the loud bump that erupted when his tailbone hit the ground, he laughed.

“Relax, relax! I kid!”

“You. Go. Change.” Zenigata rose and pointed fiercely at the closed off room. “I’m changing out here.”

“Bold, but harsh. Have it your way, big guy!”

Zenigata wrinkled his nose and threw the makeshift nightshirt at Lupin. “Don’t call me that.”

“I’m a chronic nicknamer, if you object to Pops I need fresh alternatives,” Lupin said as he unrolled the shirt from the ball it’d been formed into. “Try not to miss me too much!”

Lupin slammed the door for effect, and dove out of his clothes pretty quickly. Though, he thought, he’d done it faster before. He held up the shirt to the mirror, trying to gauge the general coverage of it before putting it on. Zenigata wasn’t even that much taller than him, was he? He was definitely more brutish than someone as suave and charasmatic as Lupin. He grimaced at himself in the mirror. Maybe between the two of them, he was the more brutish one. Still, he wasn’t quite as filled out as Zenigata. Had it not been for them mutually seeing each other in… less than stellar circumstances (at least, on Pops’ side) Lupin would’ve suspected he had his chest surgically replaced with an entire barrel. And this shirt only fed that theory.

He went ahead and put his arms through the sleeves, halfway buttoning it up before realizing he hadn’t asked for the spare sleepover kit. He knocked on the door, despite being the one on the inside. “Pops, are you decent? I need to grab some stuff.” He blinked in silence. “Legally grab it.”

“I’m good.”

Lupin cracked the door open, almost as if he was unsure Zenigata was telling the truth, then swung it open with his usual grandeur. “Where did you say you had the tooth brush? If you don’t respond fast enough I’ll just fish through your bag.” He slowly bent over it as a threat.

Zenigata turned around rapidly. “HEY!! GIMME A SECOND, YEESH.”

“Too late!” Lupin chimed as he rummaged in the suitcase. “Here, found ‘em. Aw, you even had a spare razor saved for me, you sweetheart!”

“SHUT U-- Ohhh no.” Zenigata put his hand over his face with a loud whack.

“What? That bothered by the fit of the shirt?”

“Not the fit. The length.”

Lupin looked down. “Relax, it covers fine. You have the same body type as the Empire State, in case you hadn’t realized.”

“Not in the back.”

Lupin ducked his head between his legs. “Huh. I guess you’re right.”

“SO STOP BENDING OVER!”

“It’s just boxers, nothing you haven’t seen before! I’m not shouting out the window about your shoulders here!”

“It’s a tank top! Not my underwear, idiot!”

“Some people classify that as underwear!!” Zenigata pushed past him to grab his own toothbrush.

“You’re forgetting something,” Lupin waved the razor around.

“I’ll do it in the morning.”

“Fine. I can dig the stubble, but if you have a full blown beard by tomorrow, I’m getting Jigen to sue you for plagarism.” He followed him to the sink.

“Can’t you wait?” Zenigata asked, already with a mouthful of toothpaste.

“I might be scum, but I’m clean scum. Never let it be said that Lupin the Third has bad breath.”

As predicted, they proceeded to push and shove for the next three minutes. Not that it was out of the ordinary, but Lupin felt less assured in it knowing that he was wearing Zenigata’s shirt. Every time his eyes left his own in the mirror, they either ended up on the shirt, or Zenigata himself. Neither was preferable in a battle of wills like this.

Lupin had no intent on goofing off tonight, really. Heists or otherwise . He knew no matter the circumstances, Zenigata was gonna be out like a light past a certain point, and it would be oh-so easy to slink out of the building. Yet, from here on out he really didn’t have a plan. Hell, he could probably get out while Pops was STILL awake. Fujiko had done it before, on practically all of them except Jigen. Aww man, Fujiko… Normally he would spend freetime with her if she was in a good enough mood.

“What are you thinking about?”

The voice that knocked him off his train of thought would be unrecognizable, if it weren’t for the fact there was only one other person in this criminally tiny room. Lupin blinked, his toothbrush limp in his mouth. “Can you not talk unless you’re mad at me? It’s weird!”

“You’ve been staring off into space the past minute.”

Lupin spit and rinsed his brush. “I mean it, it’s off-putting. I don’t think I’ve heard your natural voice for this long until tonight.” The whole situation was bizarre to begin with, he didn’t need to hear how… weird and rumbly his voice was. Deep, even. He made a face in the mirror and shook his head before plopping the toothbrush on the counter.

“I’m formulating my escape,” he finally said.

“You already made that joke and it didn’t land. What’s your new plan?”

“You know how Fujiko gets out of situations like this?”

“You realize you’re not Fujiko, right?”

“Sadly.”

“Just making sure,” Zenigata mumbled. Apparently already finished, he sat down on the couch. Lupin had mostly tuned out the TV, but became inexplicably aware of everything as soon as he was alone staring in the mirror. He looked back at the clock on the nightstand. It was only 8. Dear God.

He sighed, and splashed some water on his face. He briefly remembered not to bend down, but it was too late, and he didn’t care enough to apologize. Wait, he wasn’t looking at him anyways, was he?

He turned off the light and joined Zenigata on the couch, his face not really showing the hurricane of thoughts going on inside his head. He purposefully sat on the other side (not very drastic on a couch this small, he wouldn’t be able to stretch out his legs sleeping here) and tried to glue his eyes to the screen.

The movie wasn’t even that interesting. The plot was bare, boring. The characters were flat and unimaginative. Even the sets all seemed gray, dull, and much too similar to each other. Maybe it was just the model of the television, or the actors, or… maybe it was just a bad movie? It needed something spur of the moment, surprising but not unbelievable.

A loud sigh. Zenigata’s eyes were barely open, and he was propping himself up the armrest. Lupin spoke. “Giving up so soon?”

“Yeah, sure. It’s just cold-ish.”

Oh, Lupin could practically hear the lightbulb go off in his head. “You know what penguins do when they’re cold?” He scooted closer to him. “It’s for preservation. Survival, you know.”

Zenigata grumbled, but made no move to get up. In fact, his face relaxed more and he closed his eyes. “Yeah, I know what preservation means.”

“Are you sure?” Lupin laughed. The couch was, again, small to begin with, so it didn’t take long for him to be right up to him. “Ah, wait,” he stopped as soon as he was nearly touching him. Zenigata opened an eye. “Relax Pops, I’m not leaving you to freeze, I’m just getting this,” Lupin grinned, removing a blanket from the bed with a single dramatic flourish.

Zenigata nodded half-heartedly as Lupin took the few steps back. He just blinked for a moment. Zenigata was completely relaxed, and Lupin didn’t really see that a lot. Even if he’d been put down with some sort of secret tranquilizer or sleeping pill, there was a weird stiffness to how he laid.

He was toying with Lupin. Trying to pull his own tricks back on him? How petty, even for them! And yet, it takes two to tango. He threw the blanket onto Zenigata, making him sprout up to his usual rigid posture.

“Quit doin’ things like that!”

“Like what?” Lupin asked innocently. He snickered again and returned to his seat, taking the blanket from Zenigata and throwing it over them both. “This is your last chance to stop me.”

“You’ve hesitated less for doing worse things to me.”

“Heheh, yeah, but those were funny.”

“This is funny in a way,” Zenigata yawned. Lupin took it as an opportunity to lean back onto him. “More in an irony sense.”

“Ready to kill each other this morning and ready to cuddle on the couch at night,” Lupin laughed. “What a pair of nemeses we are.”

Zenigata laughed under his breath, and Lupin wondered if his sleepiness was contagious. He felt an arm slide between his side and the blanket, and he sighed, hopefully quiet enough that Pops wouldn’t hear it. As expected, the movie was long forgotten, nothing but a dull murmur next to the quiet heat being pushed through the vents above. He wondered if he could hear his heartbeat if he listened carefully eno-- There it was. Ohhh God, he was too far in it now.

“Pops?”

“Mm?”

“I think I’m… falling in love with you, or something.”

Zenigata laughed again, shifting towards Lupin. “Always a stupid comedian.”

Lupin smiled. “I can think of a few things that’ll really send you into a laughing fit.” He rolled onto Zenigata’s chest, laying his arms under his chin to prop his head up. “I’m about to kiss you. I’m serious.”

Zenigata wasn’t really processing what was being said. Or, maybe he thought he was in a dream? “Not now.”

Lupin made an amused noise and raised his head up. “‘Not now?’”

“In the morning,” he grumbled.

Lupin repressed more laughter with all his might. “When we wake up?”

“Yeah, then. This is good for now.”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to be catering to YOUR schedule.” Lupin put his head flat on his chest and wrapped his arms around him. “Boy, are you in for it when we get up.”

“When am I not.” Zenigata barely finished his sentence before he finally gave into sleep. If Lupin reeeally hated himself, he would’ve said that him holding him was the straw that broke the camel’s back. But he didn’t hate himself, and he, like Zenigata, was good for now. Not to say he wouldn’t be overjoyed when they got back to their usual routine of always running around. But sometimes the best meal needs a good dessert.

Lupin felt his arms loosen, and his eyes get heavier. How did today feel so long? Normally there were never enough hours in a day to do everything he wanted, but today never seemed to end. He was tempted to check the clock, but just couldn’t bring himself to move. Whatever, it was tomorrow’s problem. If the guys asked where he’d been, he could just say he was having trouble escaping. No, they wouldn’t really believe that, would they? Would they entirely be shocked if he told the real story?

“It IS pretty funny,” Lupin whispered, even though he knew Zenigata wasn’t listening anymore. “There was only one bed and we both ended up sleeping on the couch.”


	2. So Much For A Oneshot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY. SO. I meant for the story to really end there, but it got me wondering about how Zenigata would have handled the whole wakeup call and...  
> By writing a fic where my whole idea was put it in Lupin's POV instead, we've come to an end at Zeni's POV. Oh, the betrayal of it all.  
> It's near four a.m. as of posting this. I think I'll have to edit that 'implied' ship tag.

Lupin was due to show up soon. A habit that would’ve been self-destructive to anyone else, he had a fondness for leaving little notes in advance, letting all who would see it know exactly when, where, and what he would be doing. And what he always did was take shit. Zenigata knew that much.

Unfortunately, though, he didn’t know what Lupin was taking, and could only vaguely remember when he had decreed he’d arrive. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, on the contrary, he ALWAYS cared, and in fact, he had been the one to turn in the note to the office. But the only reason he stood in this luxurious building was because his men had led the way. Without their unintentional driving force, the force he normally provided, he’d probably still be at that dingy hotel.

Only two days ago he’d dragged Lupin into a room for the night, and only one day ago had he woken up in that room, already halfway at peace with the notion of Lupin being at the North Pole by now. To his surprise, Lupin hadn’t yet left. He was only half-awake, groggy and uncomfortable from the stiff position he’d settled in. It made the encounter seem like a strange dream. Nothing blocked the door, no backup was waiting outside, and the silver on Lupin’s wrists had long fallen off, by Zenigata’s own choice. He had nothing but chances to leave.

Instead, when Zenigata woke, he found Lupin, fully dressed, sipping on a complimentary bottle from the hotel as he sifted through the brochures on the nightstand. The sun wasn’t even up yet. When Zenigata’s focus was clear enough to realize what had happened, he must’ve made his confusion known, as Lupin turned to him quickly. 

He couldn’t remember what he’d said. Something along the lines of, “Took you long enough,” or maybe, “I’m late because of you.” What he definitely remembered was how Lupin had come to his side and tilted his head up just a little bit. And squarely planted a kiss on him.

Then, he left. 

It was still technically night, so baffled as he was, Zenigata assumed it was a dream.Until he woke up later, with his mouth still tingling. He changed quickly, and, stuffing his clothes into his bag, noticed the shirt he’d lent Lupin was missing. Bastard. 

Lupin had escaped, yes, but… why had he waited? Had he waited? Zenigata still wasn’t sure where last night ended and him drifting off began. Did he kiss him, or had he imagined it?

Zenigata bit the inside of his cheek, pushing down an internal admittance that it wouldn’t’ve been the first time he’d thought about it. 

It was around 6 in the morning, now. The alleged kiss would’ve taken place about 24 hours prior, and it still bugged him. He was really going to have to get over it if he wanted to put up his a-game today…

“Excuse me, sir?” A polite voice with a thick Irish accent entered the room, attached to a young woman. “Are you, um, the inspector guy?”

Zenigata discreetly let out a heavy breath he hadn’t known he was holding in, trying to wave out the brain fog to transition into English. “Yes ma’am. Zenigata,” he introduced himself with a polite nod. While he didn’t really think about it, his muddled mind had loosened up his manners, and he spoke to her casually. Luckily, this seemed to soothe the nervous girl. 

“I’m Mr. Elec’s daughter,” she explained. “Don’t take this as a personal offense, but I just wanted to meet you before you…?” She left the rest unsaid, trying to find her words.

“Wander around your house and defend that safe your old man’s so proud of?” Score, he remembered what Lupin was after!

She nodded. “So you do understand!”

“It’s understandable,” he nodded back. 

“But I do have another question, if you don’t mind.”

“Yes?”

“The man, the thief? What is he like?”

Zenigata wasn’t enjoying this conversation as much now. 

“He’s an interesting one. Very… dramatic,” he said, settling on the vaguest terms possible. “But make no mistake, he’s a serious threat to your possessions. If he says he wants it, he’ll take it.”

Briefly, fear flashed in her eyes. “Will he harm me?”

“No, never,” he said. With a thoughtful pause, he looked over her face. The young woman was exceptionally lovely, as most women involved in Lupin’s heists were. “But maybe… just in case, stay in your room when he shows up.”

She nodded, vigorously this time, like she was going to take the suggestion as an order. “Thank you, sir. Stay safe!” She disappeared into the twists and curves of the old house with a wave. 

Zenigata clicked his teeth a good minute after she left, regrettably realizing he hadn’t warned her about his usual posse. Due to the lowkey nature of the job, he assumed Lupin would only be bringing Jigen with him as a precaution, but he was prepared for Goemon and Fujiko. To an extent, at least. 

Zenigata's current position in the household meant whatever angle Lupin hit him with, he could easily catch him mid-escape. This hallway not only connected to the back of the house where the safe was, but was an equal distance from every exit in the building. If Zenigata was a chef, this was his five-star soup recipe. There was no way Lupin could get out, much less the others. 

The others. Zenigata had to think about that a little bit. It wasn’t a frequent thought, but occasionally comparing his own friends to Lupin’s was a depressing topic. Mainly because Zenigata couldn’t think of any he saw on such a regular basis. He had friends! But he didn’t have partners, at least, no long standing ones. He wasn't jealous of Lupin-- He was a grown man! He was above that!-- and it seemed instead that he had a little part of him that saw their comradery, their shenanigans, and thought, “I want to be a part of that. I want to be there.”

And what if he was? He’d never want to leave his job, and to be honest, chasing Lupin was kind of fun at times. He wouldn’t want to give that up, but could he still form a friendship with someone on the other end?

He thought about the kiss. Could a relationship?

At the thought of an opposite-sides romance, all that came to mind was Romeo and Juliet. Zenigata felt his eyebrows downturn, glaring at the trim on the wall ahead of him. He leaned back, closing his eyes. He had time to mull it over, Lupin wasn’t due… yet? Maybe. For some time. He mentally groaned. He couldn’t believe it, but he was actually dreading Lupin showing up, to the point he couldn’t be bothered with remembering when he explicitly pointed out--

A creak from above. 

Zenigata's eyes snapped open, already preparing to book it before he realized what he was after was right above him. 

“Hi Pops!” Overhead, Lupin dangled from the ceiling like an ornament. 

Zenigata fumed and dug out his handcuffs.

“Put those ugly things away! It’s not my time to shine yet.”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YO--” Lupin quickly clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Shhhh shh shh! Not so loud, we’ll be caught!”

Zenigata grabbed Lupin’s hand and pushed it away, holding it out in case he threatened to silence him again. “Caught? Great word choice, I couldn’t’ve picked a better one myself.”

“I wanted to visit you before we got all chase-y. You never really seem in the mood to talk after these, but you really are a chatty Cathy before ‘em.”

Zenigata looked up. There was no hole in the ceiling, nothing indicating what was holding Lupin up. 

“Like my new trick, huh? Jigen said I just looked like ‘a colorblind Spiderman,’ but you’re a man of taste.” To accentuate Jigen’s comment, he swung himself around to face Zenigata upside down.

He wouldn’t say cool, but begrudgingly, he was impressed. He chose to growl in Lupin’s face instead, grabbing him by his jacket. “What’s your deal?” 

“I haven’t seen you since the hotel,” Lupin replied simply, unphased by the harsh tone. “Some people say I can never hold a promise, so I wanted to get your feedback.”

Promise? “What are you going on about.” Phrased like a question, yet spoken like an unimpressed statement. 

Lupin laughed, a sound Zenigata could’ve smacked him for. Lupin was beginning to look more and more like a tetherball. “Try to follow, okay? Once upon a time, there was a dashing, charming, incredibly attractive thief--”

“Get on with it,” Zenigata warned.

“And a slightly less but still significantly hot detective.”

“Not really liking this story so far.”

“I mean he was a real--”

“SKIP IT.”

Another laugh. “I’m saying, that night, while we were on the couch. You remember that much?”

Zenigata did.

“I--” Lupin looked away for only a fraction of a second, as if he was cutting up the script of what had really happened before relaying it. “I was talking to you while you were a little out of it, and you asked for something.”

“I... I did?” That couldn’t be right. ”What?”

“Oh, NOW you’re into my storytelling.”

“Shut up, what did I ask for?”

Lupin grinned, a touch of sincerity threatening to show, and took advantage of the close contact Zenigata had held him in. Good thing Zenigata was tall, or else Lupin might’ve not been able to reach his mouth. He pressed a soft kiss right there, still hanging from that silly angle. 

“Maybe Jigen wasn’t entirely wrong,” he murmured, quiet enough that Zenigata couldn’t fully process it. 

Zenigata could’ve put the brightest ruby to shame with his face. As soon as it happened, he let go of Lupin’s shirt to cover his mouth. His dream theory had been slashed to pieces right before him, and while he was on the job as luck would have it. 

“I wouldn’t ask for that!” he cried, but behind his hand it came out as a muffled garble.

Lupin’s shoulders shook with giggles as he lowered himself to the floor, already missing his height advantage. “So?”

Zenigata’s blush had no intent on leaving. “SO?! Are you expecting me to tell you you’re a good kisser or something?”

“You just did.”

“NO I-- Alright, so it sounds like I did, but that’s not what I was getting at.”

“I can do it again if you like.”

“SH...SHOULDN’T YOU BE MAKING OFF WITH SOMETHING BY NOW?”

“I have one prize in mind,” Lupin beamed with a waggle of his eyebrows. Zenigata pulled out his gun. “NOT THAT ONE,” Lupin gulped as he took a step back. 

He held out the gun for Lupin. “Shoot me in the foot. I’m having a nightmare.”

“So cruel, even when I’m bearing my heart to you? Not literally, of course,” he added with a nervous glance at the gun. “You clearly don’t remember our conversation so… I think I owe a recap of one part to you.” 

Lupin reached up to whisper it to him, but Zenigata shoved him away. His heart would probably give out otherwise. “No, just… Say it.”

Lupin shrugged with a carefree grin. “Alright. I’ve fallen in love with you.” 

“Okay, if you’re not gonna shoot my foot I’ll do it myself.”

“I can’t believe I’m the one telling you this, but be serious! I mean it, Pops! The least you could do is tell me your side of it.”

Zenigata felt faint. He'd called Lupin dramatic earlier, but at least when Lupin joked about fainting, his knees didn’t actually start to wobble. “You’re a heartless bastard, Lupin.”

“True. And?”

Zenigata grumbled aside. ”I’m not saying anything I’ll regret.”

Lupin grabbed his hand, holding it tight with a squeeze. “You’re making this harder than it needs to be.” His inflection didn’t quite mirror the gentleness of his actions.

“I’M MAKING IT HARD?! YOU’RE DOING THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF A HEIST!”

“You’re the one making a big deal over it.”

“IT IS A BIG DEAL! And you’re pretending like you don’t know that too!”

Lupin looked up at the ceiling and winced. “Well… I’m a natural Casanova, I don’t get hit hard by these things.”

“Bullshit!”

“Maybe we should move if you’re gonna keep being loud. Come on, there’s a balcony on the other side.” Lupin pointed away and started to leave, only for Zenigata to grab the back collar of his jacket. Lupin blinked, dumbfounded. “Uh, Pops, I dunno if anyone told you this, but to lead the way, I have to be walking.”

True, but Zenigata wasn’t going to give him that. “Tell me where to go. I’ll lead the way.”

Lupin gave Zenigata a flat, unimpressed stare. “Or you could let me g--ACK!”

In one motion, Zenigata had lifted Lupin in a form not too different from how someone might lift a kitten. “I’ll lead the way,” Zenigata repeated. 

Lupin laughed nervously, less than a foot off the ground but still not wanting to object. “Alright, down that way.” He pointed them to one of the house’s many living rooms, notably though, the only one with a door. 

Zenigata dropped Lupin on one couch, making a conscious decision to sit in a seat separate from his, namely an uncomfortable chair. Lupin said nothing, but he’d clearly taken note of the choice.

“Who put you up to this? Jigen?”

Lupin laughed too loudly for a fake laugh. “Ohh, if Jigen saw me now.”

“Fujiko, then?”

Lupin laughed harder in response. Zenigata took that as his answer. “I don’t get it,” he murmured in defeat.

“There’s nothing TO get, that’s what I’m trying to tell you, stupid. Not everything from me is a trick.”

Zenigata gave Lupin a look.

“Okay, so, maybe 85% of it is, but this isn’t!” Lupin’s smile broke gradually. “I’m not playing, and I thought I should come clean with you.” 

Lupin holding a serious demeanor was never fun, because half the time it meant someone was dying or going to die. The other half was circumstances Zenigata hadn’t been present for, mostly arguments between his group, or having to slip down from the untouchable persona long enough to settle someone in a panic. 

But Lupin never got serious in arguments with Zenigata-- he treated those more like a tennis match. Zenigata had panicked hundreds of times in front of Lupin (mostly by way of not KNOWING Lupin was standing nearby), but Lupin had never tried to calm him down. On the contrary, Lupin had told him his ridiculously expressive fits of anger were hilarious. However, weren't there bound to be times when it wasn’t funny?

“Alright. I’ll take you seriously, I’ll even believe you’re in love with me. But only if you can tell me why.”

Lupin’s cheeky grin started to edge back as he tapped the armrest. “It’s not really something I’ve thought about… Just what I realized. Recently.”

“Then how are you sure?” Lupin stiffened slightly at Zenigata’s words. He caught him.

“It’s more a subconscious thing,” Lupin said. He looked calm, but after all this time Zenigata had picked up on the details. Lupin’s tapping was a little faster, and he avoided eye contact. Lupin stewed in the silence for only a minute before snapping. “You’re passionate.” 

Zenigata nearly hit the floor. “Abou--... About putting you in jail,” he reminded him.

“It’s more your drive than your motive! Nothing stops you, it’s hard not to root for you sometimes.” 

It was a fair answer, and while he knew Lupin would say more if prodded, he decided to leave it at that for now. The time of the robbery would be coming soon anyways. He had to manage his time right here.

Zenigata cut to the chase. “It’s mutual.”

Lupin perked up like a meerkat. “Oh?”

Zenigata bit back a handful of insults before speaking up again. “It’s small,” he lied. “But it’s there.” 

Lupin didn’t frown, but asked a question fit for one. “Would it be easier if it wasn’t?” 

Zenigata wasn’t sure what could have brought that on. “Excuse me? You just kissed me not three minutes ago.” 

“I know,” he said, almost fast enough to cut Zenigata off. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No! Yo--” Zenigata grimaced as he absorbed what he almost said. “You already did it at the hotel, so not doing it here wouldn’t change much.”

Lupin made a small tut noise out of the corner of his mouth. “Yeah… I guess.”

Zenigata blinked and knitted his eyebrows. “Pause. I’ve seen you do this.” 

It was Lupin’s turn to be confused. “Huh?”

“This is going to be one of those ‘sorry you’ve fallen in love with me’ speeches you give to girls all the time!”

Lupin turned red and shook his hands violently. “N… NO? NO, this isn’t that! I’m saying--”

Zenigata nearly smiled. “I know this bit like the back of my hand, Lupin. ‘You have a life outside of me, live it. You deserve better. Goodbye forever!’ The usual works.” 

Lupin’s mouth skewed into a bitter scowl. “That’s not it remotely.” He turned away for a moment. “Nevermind! What were we even here for to begin with?!”

Zenigata’s sarcastic grin disappeared again. Oh my God, was that really what he was getting at? Was he about to apologize? For a moment, the idea of Lupin apologizing sincerely shocked Zenigata more than the thought of him catching feelings for the man who sent out wanted posters of him regularly. 

“Lupin?” 

“It’s nothing,” he waved it off, looking unbothered. Even his trademark joy was back. “I have to… Don’t look at me like that.”

Zenigata internally jumped realizing he’d probably been looking at Lupin with a pitiful face. “Sorry. I just-- Tell me what you were going to say.”

Lupin inhaled quickly like he was getting a vaccine, but kept the blissful smile on his face. “You know nothing’ll come from this right? I just wanted to be honest with you about it but… Doesn’t really change anything, does it?”

Zenigata thought back to earlier when he’d considered Lupin and the others. He told himself he didn’t mind the game of cat and mouse, but that much failure can sting sometimes. Even if the base of that failure was someone as likable as Lupin. 

“There’d probably not be much of a traditional domestic side to it,” Lupin added.

Like he cared about that. Not being able to buy a house together was the least of Zenigata’s concerns. What really pained him was the fact that neither of them would budge, and what Lupin said next only cemented that.

“And I’m not really going to stop.”

“I didn’t expect you to,” Zenigata flatly agreed, annoyed with how Lupin was acting like this was surprising news.”

“And I know you aren’t either.” Lupin stopped in consideration.”Not without a lot of convincing, anyways,” he chuckled. 

Zenigata decided not to say anything on that. 

“Can I tell you something?”

“That’s what you’ve BEEN doing, dumbass.” 

“Duh, and I hate it. But something that might uh, dig a little too deep.”

Zenigata leaned in subconsciously. 

“I like things how they are.”

Lupin let the words hang. Zenigata thought he was supposed to react, but he wasn’t sure how. He asked, “What do you mean?”

Lupin laced his fingers together, suddenly interested in them, but he never slouched, never cowered. Lupin had said ‘to hell with it’ emotionally, and for some reason felt today was a good day to be sober with the situation. 

“I like waking up in a different country every week. I like having plans I can finish in under a few days, and I like having to call in everyone from wherever they are just to do whatever. I like not knowing what’s going to happen next.”

Zenigata didn’t mean it in an overly rude way, but he scoffed slightly. “I bet you like cracking open safes, too.”

Lupin brightened and pointed at Zenigata in acknowledgement. “I do! You’re right about that! I like diamonds and fancy cars I’ll never drive more than twice and money. You know what I don’t like?” 

Zenigata thought. “The creepy rich old men who always somehow drag teenage girls into their plans?” 

“W-- Yeah but-- That’s kind of a given, Pops.” He laughed a little. “My least favorite part is after I get what I’m after.”

Zenigata knew the answer to this one! “Oh, oh! The part where Fujiko inevitably takes away what you were stealing!”

“Can you put a sock in it, I’m trying to sell my speech right now!” Zenigata covered his smile with a hand and leaned on the rest of his own chair. “Anyways. I hate the part where the security goes off. It means something went wrong, because normally we’ve got that down at the start. It's loud and flashy, one day I’ll get a seizure or something, I swear.”

Lupin’s soft smile went mischievous. “But I don’t mind the aftermath.”

“The aftermath?” Zenigata repeated it blankly.

“After the sirens go off, you come in! You’re a helluva lot louder than they are,” Lupin started to snicker, causing Zenigata to glare. “It’s annoying at first, seeing you look so proud or whatever, but the chase is… fun. I like the chase, in case we were still adding to my list of likes and dislikes.”

“And me without my notepad.”

“I think you break more laws than I do going after me! On foot, or in a car, you’re like a bull, man!”

Zenigata made a face out the window, unfortunately reminded that bulls were drawn to red. He kept his eyes off Lupin’s jacket. “Why are you telling me this? I get the point, ya know, we’re on opposite sides, it can’t be, et cetera.” 

“That’s true. But even knowing that, we somehow took the time out of our lives to spend a night snuggling?”

Zenigata fidgeted. 

“You probably would do a lot better with someone who wasn’t going to be pantsing you at crime scenes, but if you do really agree with my whole ‘falling in love’ ordeal then…?”

“Are you asking me if I’d love you even after our current situation?” Zenigata was completely incredulous by the end of his sentence. “The situation we both entered KNOWING ALL OF THIS.” 

Lupin’s eyes darted side to side. “Sure, put it like that and make it sound stupid.”

“Lupin, I think I would catch cabin fever if I stayed in the same house for a month after living like this. Why would that change just because you’re making heart-eyes at me?”

“Now you’re making it sound like it’s my fault!”

Zenigata stood and shook his head. “If you think just because I’d kiss you and hold you I’d suddenly handwave the thousands of crimes you’ve committed, you have another thing coming.”

Lupin stood too, parroting Zenigata’s something of a smile. “If you think I’d stop fondling every gem in the world just because I’d treat you to a nice dinner once and a while then you’re also sorely mistaken.” 

Neither laughed, but the amusement in the air made the earlier tension forgivable. 

“Well, I’ve definitely overstayed. Thanks for holding a conversation,” Lupin spat sarcastically, emphasizing the last word like it was poison. Zenigata tried to push down another laugh. 

“Kind of stupid to hang around. I put off arresting you this long, and now you don’t even have time to get into the safe.”

“The safe?” A vicious smirk broke onto Lupin’s face as he backed towards the window. “Pops…”

No. He didn’t. Zenigata felt his chest flare with anger. “Lupin.”

“I emptied it before I talked to you. Jigen’s probably in Britain by now.” 

Zenigata clenched his fists and grit his teeth before reaching for Lupin, who quickly ducked under his grasp. He backed out of the window, balancing on a trim outside. 

“I’m sorry, no goodbye hugs today.” He blew him a kiss and safely dropped down to ground level, already lost in the elaborate vegetation surrounding the property by the time Zenigata reached the window. 

Like that would stop him.

Shouting and swearing, Zenigata followed Lupin.

**Author's Note:**

> Update: I went back in to fix some errors, but I was totally winded by the sweet feedback you guys left! I'm glad I captured their personalities right, and I'm even MORE glad the stupid dialogue was well-received. Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos!


End file.
